I have pride for where I live and that’s...
Friend: How obsessed are you with Harry Potter on a scale of 1-10?
Me: 9 and 3/4
My friend: I've never been drunk before 3pm before.
Me: oh, I have. I love brunch. And with brunch comes mimosas. And with mimosas comes greatness.
Anonymous asked: jekisah; you have been invited to PeepsPayer(.)com by one of your followers - where it's easy to make $ with your blog.
I'm doing the dishes, and Theresa is supposed to be clearing the table. However she was taking forever, so i took the dishes off the table so I could wash them.
Theresa: "Who cleared the table for me?"
Me: "I did. You were taking too long and I wanted to finish the dishes."
Theresa: "Well sorry. It's not my fault that everyone needed to use the bathroom at the same time."
Me: "It's not my fault you take 15 minute craps."
Theresa: "My bad."
Me: You just sent a text that only said 'hi'.
Me: To a person who probably doesn't even want to talk to you.
Me: You should have at least said 'I hope you're having a good day' or something like that.
Me: Whatever. I can't be articulate all the time.
stinson: i’ve decided to not let myself get in bad moods anymore because it’s not worth it
Today marks 15 years since the first publication...
Hey guys remember when we thought we'd be addicted...
A moment for Minerva's sarcasm:
Minerva Mcgonagall: Well, usually when a person shakes their head, they mean 'no.' So unless Miss Edgecombe is using a form of sign language as yet unknown to humans
Minerva Mcgonagall: I wonder, how you can expect to gain an idea of my usual teaching methods if you continue to interrupt me? You see, I do not generally permit people to talk when I am talking.
Minerva Mcgonagall: I should have made my meaning plainer. He has achieved high marks in all Defense Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher.
Minerva Mcgonagall: Are you quite sure you wouldn't like a cough drop, Dolores?
I’m really digging this Grawp chapter!
I'm really confused
wholewheat: “Teardrops on my ukulele” -A Zooey Deschanel cover
Sure, it’s upsetting. But I’m not going to be upset about it. I know I’m better than her. And someday, you’ll realize it too.
shelbydemersdiaz: “What’s a virgin?” “A virgin is someone who doesn’t like cake.”